The evening clouds free her brilliant colors fly drifting dusk rides with the wind in a pillow cloud enjoy the silent night darkening time is growing old in song and ink my feet trod through Song and Tang* my hand rolled up the lacy screen of dream and sang
let my feelings of smoky rain hum sadly and swirl in my spirit passionately knead away life's bits and pieces let them mingle into songs and dances when the tune touches a tiny part of sadness strands and strands of tears already fill up my love-sickness
my disappointment, your failure smashed any promise into a dream of autumn mums, sad in my world of no future however hopeless the wind embraces my love in loneliness sweet and cold like days of old
let my feelings of smoky rain hum sadly
and swirl in my spirit passionately
knead away life's bits and pieces
let them mingle into songs and dances
when the tune touches a tiny part of sadness
strands and strands of tears already fill up my love-sickness
Wow, it's a very beautiful poem but so much sadness, loneliness, disappointment, hopelessness, the worst thing is
(that is amazing way to describe how the 憧憬 was sadly gone...).
Even though after all these, still
great spirit with so much deep sadness yet strength, still beautifully there within the wind, tender, sweet, melancholic, quiet, as for ever before and from now on...
The last image is very strong, let the reader see the 瘦成了一梦秋菊的樣子 (implying as she / you) is there in the wind. ... 餘味未盡. Great one!
Love is an universal difficult thing to have ... but the most beautiful thing to pursuer.
Thank you for your amazing comments, I feel very much encouraged. The sentiment and beauty is first inspired by my own experience, but the expression needed tools to express. I find traditional
Chinese poems are most touching and graceful. Using this style, but free of any traditional rules,
I simply out-write what's in my mind and heart. I hope to continue to pursue improvement.
Thank you again.